I Suck In Bed!!! What Can I Do??!!

In this candid episode of the Married AF podcast, hosts Matthew and Monica Powers tackle a topic that many people worry about but rarely discuss openly: sexual inadequacy. With their signature blend of humor and practical wisdom, they address the question, "What if I suck in bed?" – a concern that weighs heavily on many people's minds, particularly men.

The conversation begins by acknowledging that much of our sexual insecurity stems from how we've deviated from traditional values around sexuality. As Matthew points out, if everyone waited until marriage to become sexually active, comparative anxiety wouldn't exist because there would be no basis for comparison. However, since that's not the reality for most people, the episode focuses on constructive ways to address feelings of sexual inadequacy.

The Powers identify several warning signs that might indicate you're struggling in the bedroom. These include a general disinterest in sex, embarrassment about discussing sexual topics, needing to meticulously plan every encounter, sticking to the same routine without variation, and having a partner who seems disinterested. Additional red flags include never asking your partner about their preferences, treating sex as just another chore on your to-do list, skipping foreplay, focusing only on your own pleasure, constantly apologizing during intimacy, being overly pushy, not participating actively, and being overconfident without delivering results.

After identifying these potential issues, Matthew and Monica offer practical solutions to improve your sexual relationship. The cornerstone of their advice is unsurprisingly communication – talking openly about desires, preferences, and concerns with your partner. This communication shouldn't happen during intimate moments but rather in neutral settings where both partners can speak honestly without pressure.

Other recommendations include working on building personal confidence, trying new experiences together (their "test kitchen" approach), dedicating special nights focused entirely on your partner's pleasure, strengthening your emotional connection, embracing foreplay that begins well before the bedroom (through flirty texts, lingering kisses, and affectionate touches throughout the day), taking things slowly rather than rushing to completion, and introducing spontaneity into your relationship.

The hosts emphasize the importance of taking control during intimate encounters, noting that both men and women appreciate when their partner confidently takes charge occasionally. They also touch on how physical issues, particularly for men as they age, can impact sexual confidence and performance, encouraging listeners to seek medical help without embarrassment if needed.

Throughout the episode, Matthew and Monica maintain their characteristic openness, acknowledging how cultural attitudes toward sex have shifted while emphasizing that a healthy sex life remains an important component of marriage. They conclude by reinforcing that improving your intimate relationship isn't just about physical pleasure – it positively impacts every aspect of your life, from your work productivity to your effectiveness as a parent. With the right communication, mutual consideration, and willingness to grow together, couples can overcome feelings of inadequacy and develop a fulfilling sexual relationship.